Keep Me in Your Heart: Letting Go of Lisa / Saving Jessica / Telling Christina Goodbye
YOU’LL WANT TO READ THESE INSPIRING TITLES BY
LURLENE MCDANIEL
ANGELS IN PINK
Kathleen’s Story
Raina’s Story
Holly’s Story
ONE LAST WISH NOVELS
Mourning Song
A Time to Die
Mother, Help Me Live
Someone Dies, Someone Lives
Sixteen and Dying
Let Him Live
The Legacy: Making Wishes
Come True
Please Don’t Die
She Died Too Young
All the Days of Her Life
A Season for Goodbye
Reach for Tomorrow
OTHER OMNIBUS EDITIONS
True Love: Three Novels
The End of Forever
Always and Forever
The Angels Trilogy
As Long As We Both Shall Live
Journey of Hope
One Last Wish: Three Novels
MORE NOVELS
Heart to Heart
Breathless
Hit and Run
Prey
Briana’s Gift
Letting Go of Lisa
The Time Capsule
Garden of Angels
A Rose for Melinda
Telling Christina Goodbye
How Do I Love Thee: Three Stories
To Live Again
Angel of Mercy
Angel of Hope
Starry, Starry Night: Three
Holiday Stories
The Girl Death Left Behind
Angels Watching Over Me
Lifted Up by Angels
For Better, for Worse, Forever
Until Angels Close My Eyes
Till Death Do Us Part
I’ll Be Seeing You
Saving Jessica
Don’t Die, My Love
Too Young to Die
Goodbye Doesn’t Mean Forever
Somewhere Between Life and Death
Time to Let Go
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
When Happily Ever After Ends
Baby Alicia Is Dying
From every ending comes a new beginning.…
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Saving Jessica text copyright © 1996 by Lurlene McDaniel
Telling Christina Goodbye text copyright © 2002 by Lurlene McDaniel
Letting Go of Lisa text copyright © 2006 by Lurlene McDaniel
All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Delacorte Press, an imprint of Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York. This omnibus edition is comprised of Saving Jessica, Telling Christina Goodbye, and Letting Go of Lisa. Saving Jessica and Telling Christina Goodbye were originally published separately in paperback in the United States by Bantam Books, an imprint of Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York, in 1995 and 2002, respectively. Letting Go of Lisa was originally published in hardcover in the United States by Delacorte Press in 2006.
Delacorte Press is a registered trademark and the colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.
Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are from the Holy Bible, New
International Version. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible
Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.
Visit us on the Web! www.randomhouse.com/teens
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eISBN: 978-0-307-80929-2
Random House Children’s Books supports the First Amendment and celebrates the right to read.
v3.1
Contents
Cover
Other Books by This Author
Title Page
Copyright
Saving Jessica
Dedication
Epigraph
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Telling Christina Goodbye
Dedication
Epigraph
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Letting Go of Lisa
Epigraph
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
About the Author
Saving Jessica
To all my loyal readers.
Thank you.
“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.… Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:16 and 18)
Chapter
1
“Don’t your doctors know anything yet?
You’ve been in the hospital two days. You’d think they would have told you something by now!”
Jessica McMillan heard the frustration in Jeremy Travino’s voice. She held out her hand and he took it, holding it tightly as if he were responsible for keeping her anchored to the hospital bed. “They’re supposed to tell me something this afternoon,” she told him. “Mom and Dad are coming in at four-thirty for a big powwow with Dr. Kowalski.”
“Tell me it won’t be bad, Jessie. I don’t think I could stand it if something happened to you.”
“I’ll be all right,” she said with much more assurance than she felt. In truth, she was scared. She’d begun feeling tired and dizzy the month before. Her family doctor had treated her for anemia, but her symptoms—headaches, numbness in her arms and legs and an intolerable itching sensation all over her body—had steadily worsened until the doctor had thought it best to hospitalize her and run extensive tests.
“But what if they still don’t know anything after all this testing? I’ve read about weird symptoms that the doctors can’t figure out.”
“Don’t get paran
oid on me,” she said, peering into Jeremy’s worried brown eyes. “Maybe it’s something simple—like some kind of exotic flu.”
“It’s March. Flu season’s in the winter.”
“So I decided to catch it now. You know how I hate to follow the crowd.” She flashed him a smile.
The worry lines in his brow relaxed and he smiled back. “What I know is that I love you and I hate hospitals. What I know is that if they don’t let you out of here soon, I’ll steal you away from the place.”
“My hero,” she said with a grin.
He leaned back in the chair beside her bed, still holding her hand. He shrugged sheepishly. “All right, so patience isn’t my strong suit. I get it from my father.”
Jeremy’s dad was a high-powered attorney in a Washington, D.C., firm; his mother was an executive in a public relations business. Jessica’s parents were both teachers; her mother helped run a Head Start preschool program and her father taught humanities at Georgetown University.
“Well, since you’re a lawyer’s son, maybe you should go plead with my doctor to divulge my test results right now and not wait for my parents to arrive.”
“I’d do it if I thought he’d talk to us. Why do parents always have to hear everything first?” He sounded irritated.
“Because we’re minors?”
“Big deal.”
“Don’t be impatient. I’m a little scared about hearing the diagnosis anyway. Sometimes not knowing can be better than knowing.”
“How can you say that? Not knowing is driving me nuts.”
“Because as long as I don’t know, I can imagine it’s something simple, like mono, or anemia that needs more treatment. What if it’s something really terrible?”
He moved forward and ran the back of his free hand along her cheek. “No matter what it is, I’ll be here for you.”
The look of fierce devotion on his face made her insides turn mushy. How had she won the adoration of such a great guy as Jeremy? “Even though I’m an older woman?” she teased.
“Don’t start with that. You’re not that much older.”
She was seventeen and a half. He’d turned sixteen in January. But he was so bright and articulate that he seemed older than boys who were eighteen and nineteen. She’d met college-age guys who didn’t act as mature as Jeremy.
“Well, most women stop having birthdays at some point, so that’ll give you time to catch up to me.”
His face broke into a heart-stealing grin. “I like the way that sounds. It sounds as if you plan to have me around for years and years.”
“Just until you catch up with me in age. Then I’ll have to look for someone younger.” She patted his hand. “You understand, of course.”
“Of course. Whatever you say.” His dark eyes danced with good humor.
“Hadn’t you better get back to school?”
“I want to be with you.”
“You’ve cut two classes and lunch period to be with me. Your parents wouldn’t like it if they knew.”
His good humor evaporated. “Who cares? I’m tired of them always telling me what to do. They’re parents, not my zookeepers.”
Jessica wished Jeremy’s relationship with his parents was better. They seemed always at odds with each other, always tugging and pulling, prickly as cactuses. Sometimes Jessica thought they resented her relationship with him. She wanted them to like her. She was in love with Jeremy and disliked being the cause of any friction between them and their son. Their only living son.
“Any one of your teachers could tell them you skipped half a day.”
“So what? I want to be here when you get your test results. You don’t think your folks will mind, do you?”
“No. They won’t care if you’re with me.” Her parents liked Jeremy and approved of their dating. Just so long as she graduated in June and started college in the fall, they would be happy. Come fall, Jeremy would begin his senior year and she would be attending Georgetown, so she’d be able to see him whenever she wanted.
“When you get out of here,” he said, “I’ll take you to see the cherry trees blossoming along Pennsylvania Avenue.”
“Will you put the top down on your car?”
“We’ll freeze.”
“We’ll turn the heater up and wrap blankets around us,” she countered. She loved his little sports car, a gift from his parents on his sixteenth birthday.
“Anything you want.” He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “I just want you well again and out of here.”
“Me too.” The familiar fear clutched at her. For a few minutes she’d forgotten where she was and why, but now reality returned with a jolt. She was sick. Mysteriously and genuinely sick. When she’d first protested that she was fine and didn’t want to be checked into the hospital for testing, her family doctor had said, “Perfectly fine teenage girls don’t exhibit such severe symptoms as yours. I want you checked out thoroughly, Jessica.”
She’d come to the hospital and spent two days enduring blood tests, X rays and CAT scans. In a few hours she’d know what was wrong. No matter what it was, she hoped she’d have the courage to face it. She squeezed Jeremy’s hand. “I’m glad you’re here with me. It makes me feel braver.”
“I won’t leave you,” he said. “I promise, I won’t.”
Her parents arrived at four o’clock, looking tense and worried. They hugged her and told Jeremy they were glad he was there. “Are you feeling all right?” her mother asked anxiously.
“My feet and legs are swollen. I feel like a water balloon.”
“You look pretty,” her father said.
“I think so too,” Jeremy declared.
“I look terrible,” she insisted. “And I can’t shake this headache.”
“Maybe you’ve got a headache from stress,” her mother offered. “I often get stress headaches.”
“Maybe so,” Jessica said, hoping to calm her mother, who’d been a nervous wreck ever since Jessica had gotten sick. “If it’s stress, once I find out what’s wrong, the headache will disappear, won’t it?”
Her parents looked frightened, and she hated being the cause of their worry. Her father’s heart wasn’t strong, and her mother had had a bout with breast cancer two years before. She was all right now, but still Jessica worried about their health. It wasn’t fair that she should be sick when she should be healthy. Her parents were older—she’d been born late in their lives—but they adored her. She was their only child.
“How have you been, Jeremy?” her father asked.
“Okay. I’ll be better when Jessie’s home.” He gazed at her tenderly and she smiled.
“We all will.”
The doctor was late. “Maybe I should have the nurses page him,” her mother said. “What do you think, Don?”
“He’ll be here, Ruth. You know doctors. Always with a million things to do.”
Jessica felt the tension in the room and wished she could do something to lessen it. But she was feeling slightly nauseous and couldn’t think of anything to say to her parents.
Jeremy turned on the TV and found the CNN channel. The newscaster’s voice droned, but it was enough to grab everyone’s attention. Jessica told Jeremy “Thank you” with her eyes. Finally, at five-fifteen, Dr. Kowalski breezed into the room along with Dr. Harris, the family physician. Their faces were masklike and unreadable, but Jessica felt a stab of fear. If only they’d been smiling.
“I think we’ve got a diagnosis,” Dr. Kowalski said, getting right to the point. “I asked Dr. Harris along because he was able to help figure out the how that went along with the why.”
“What are you talking about?” Jessica’s father asked.
Dr. Kowalski set a thick file folder on the tray table over Jessica’s bed. He looked straight at her. “You’re in kidney failure, Jessica. Your symptoms could fit the profile of many diseases and medical problems, but the itchiness was the clue that led me to suspect your kidneys weren’t functioning properly.”
“My
kidneys?”
“It isn’t cancer?” her mother blurted.
“No,” Dr. Kowalski said.
Her mother was so relieved that she sagged.
The two doctors turned their attention to Jessica. Dr. Harris picked up her hand and held it gently between his palms. “You’re in end-stage renal disease,” he told her quietly. “Total kidney failure.”
“But people can’t live without kidneys,” Jeremy said, coming up beside her bed and locking eyes with the doctor.
“You’ll have to begin dialysis immediately,” the doctor continued, turning his attention back to Jessica. “It will take over the function of your kidneys and keep you alive.”
Chapter
2
“Kidney failure! But how is that possible?” Jessica felt as incredulous as her father. With her heart pounding and her mouth as dry as cotton, she waited for the doctors to answer his question.
“That’s what I wanted to know,” Dr. Harris told them. “When Dr. Kowalski called with the results of your lab work, I went back through all your files. You’ve been my patient since you were a newborn, and your family’s given you the best of care.” He paused to nod toward her mother and father.
“Two years ago, I treated you for a strep infection—but not until it was pretty advanced. Whether you know it or not, untreated strep can cause a host of problems, including rheumatic fever, which affects the heart. In your case, I believe it took a toll on your kidneys. The damage progressed slowly and relentlessly until you were so far along that now there’s nothing we can do about it. Except put you on dialysis.”
Jessica’s head was spinning. This couldn’t be happening to her! How had something gotten so serious with so little warning?
Dr. Kowalski added, “The point is you’re in kidney failure, Jessica, and that’s what we have to deal with.”
“How are ‘we’ going to do that?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“You’re getting a new doctor. My colleague Ronald Witherspoon is a top-notch nephrologist—that’s a specialist in the treatment of kidney disorders. He’ll be in shortly to explain your course of treatment. He’ll put you on a hemodialysis machine, which will do the work of your kidneys and make you feel a whole lot better. Your edema will clear up, as will the headaches and itching. You’ll feel good again in no time.”
The news was so devastating that she couldn’t imagine ever feeling good again. Certainly not emotionally, anyway. Her body had turned on her, betrayed her, destroyed her kidneys, and her life would never be the same.