Please Don't Die Read online

  “Me too. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Katie. Whenever I think about last summer, about how you were so close to dying …”

  She didn’t allow him to complete his sentence. “Every day is new, every morning, Josh. I’m glad I got a second chance at life. And after meeting the people here at Jenny House, after making friends with Amanda, Chelsea, and even Lacey, I want all of us to live forever.”

  He grinned. “Forever’s a long time.”

  She returned his smile. “All right, then at least until we’re all old and wrinkled.”

  Published by

  Dell Laurel-Leaf

  an imprint of

  Random House Children’s Books

  a division of Random House, Inc.

  New York

  Copyright © 1993 by Lurlene McDaniel

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher, except where permitted by law.

  For information address Dell Laurel-Leaf.

  Dell and Laurel are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

  Visit us on the Web! www.randomhouse.com/teens

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  www.randomhouse.com/teachers

  eISBN: 978-0-307-77636-5

  RL: 5, age 010 & up

  A Bantam Book/November 1993

  First Laurel-Leaf edition January 2004

  v3.1

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Dear Reader

  One

  KATIE O’ROARK COULDN’T believe her eyes. She peered out the car window at the building of wood and glass and river rock that rose majestically out of the clearing in the North Carolina mountain woods. Her heart hammered in anticipation.

  “Do you suppose that’s it?” her father asked. “It’s an impressive-looking place to spend the summer.”

  “More like a resort than a dorm for sick kids,” her mother added.

  They had almost missed the small sign on the highway marking the turnoff for Jenny House, and her father had driven onto the property and along the rustic road cautiously. Beside her in the backseat, Josh glowered at the building lined with decks that jutted out over the back of the mountain. “You can change your mind,” he reminded her. “You don’t have to stay the whole twelve weeks.”

  They had argued about it ever since the invitation had come in May. But a letter promising to reveal the identity of JWC—the mysterious benefactor who had given Katie the one hundred thousand dollars that had helped, in part, to pay for her very expensive heart transplant operation and anti-rejection drug maintenance program—had been an irresistible lure. “I have to meet JWC,” Katie told Josh as her father parked the car. “And all my doctors approve of my coming. I’m fine now, Josh. Besides, you’ve got a job at the newspaper office. You’ll see, the time will fly. I owe JWC a lot.”

  “The original letter said there were no strings attached to the money you got.”

  “This is a different kind of string, Josh. Like the one I owe you for donating your brother’s heart. I can’t explain it. It’s something I have to do.” She understood how hard it was for him to let her go for the summer. After all, it was his brother Aaron’s heart that was beating in her chest. And ever since her transplant operation, she and Josh Martel had become inseparable. It wasn’t easy for Katie either. She loved Josh. It would be tough to be apart from him all summer.

  “You don’t even know what you’ll be doing here,” Josh grumbled.

  “According to the invitation, I’ll be with a group of sick teenagers.”

  “But what if you get sick again? What if you have another episode of rejection? When I think about the last time—”

  Katie placed the tips of her fingers against his lips to silence him. This had been a running argument throughout the two-day drive from Michigan to Jenny House. “But I made it, Josh. I pulled through. I’m fine and I’m here. And I plan on staying.”

  Katie crossed the wooden deck and entered the building. Inside, the facility smelled as fresh and new as it looked. A vaulted, beamed ceiling soared upward, and polished dark oak floors gleamed in the light streaming through plate-glass windows. Sitting areas with colorful rugs and groupings of furniture gave the gigantic room a cozy living-room atmosphere. A wall of solid river stone flanked one wall, where a mammoth fireplace was centered. Over it stretched a mantel made of a two-foot-thick beam of solid oak.

  Above the mantel hung a painting that made Katie stop short. She gazed up at a black-haired girl wearing a velvet gown of midnight blue. The girl’s eyes were bright blue, her expression wistful, as if she knew some sad secret. She looked real enough to step down from the canvas.

  “Wow,” Josh said softly, coming alongside Katie. “Who’s that?”

  “Maybe I’d better keep an eye on you this summer if every pretty girl is going to cause that kind of a reaction,” Katie teased. “But you’re right. She is gorgeous.” Josh’s face turned as red as his hair.

  Katie’s parents were talking to a receptionist behind a brass-railed registration desk on the other side of the vast room. “Let me call our director,” the receptionist said, picking up the phone, as Katie and Josh walked over.

  Moments later, a man emerged from a corridor. He was tall, slim, and blond, and wore an impeccably tailored navy blue suit. Although he was near her father in age, Katie thought he was one of the most handsome men she’d ever seen.

  “You’re Katie O’Roark,” the man said. A smile lit up his face and made his emerald eyes sparkle. “I’m Richard Holloway.”

  “From the Wish Foundation?” She recognized his name from the check she’d been given by JWC.

  “Actually, it was my father who administered the bulk of the Foundation’s funds,” Richard explained. “He died a while back.”

  Remembering her manners, Katie made a round of introductions. “Why have I been invited?” she asked after Richard led them to one of the comfortable sofas. “Your letter only said I’d be with other kids my age and that I was a guest. So when can I meet JWC? Who is JWC anyway?”

  “Everything will be explained tonight,” Richard replied. “This is the first time Jenny House has opened its doors, and we’ve invited five other teens who, like yourself, have received Wish money and have lived. You’re the first one here, but the others should be arriving all afternoon.”

  Richard’s comment caused a chill in Katie. It was an admission that she was one of a fortunate few still alive. “Your letter said there would be sick kids coming.”

  “The other guests will be arriving tomorrow.”

  “How many?” Katie’s dad asked. He was a newspaperman, a sports writer, but Katie saw his reporter’s instincts taking over. Even though he’d tried for over a year to discover the identity of JWC, he’d been unsuccessful, and Katie was certain that he’d insisted on driving her to Jenny House as much to satisfy his own curiosity as to make certain hi
s daughter would be safe for the summer.

  “Thirty kids between the ages of twelve and sixteen from all over the country.”

  “That certainly doesn’t seem like very many for a place this size,” Katie’s mother commented.

  “It’s our very first summer of operation,” Richard explained. “We thought it best to start small and work our way into larger groups. Plus we want to maintain a homey atmosphere. One of the things that sets Jenny House apart from other facilities of its type is that we’ll be open year-round with a full-time staff—both professional and medical. It’s our hope that kids who visit will come back at any time they feel the need to get away. Jenny House is a place to rest, have fun, make new friends.”

  “So you’re more than a summer camp?”

  “Much more. We’re not just for kids with specific diseases. Any sick teen is welcome on a doctor’s recommendation. Plus it’s free. It was the wish of the house’s benefactor that no one ever need pay in order to stay.”

  “Then JWC isn’t the person responsible for this place?” Katie asked. She was a little disappointed, wondering if she’d ever get information about the One Last Wish benefactor. She seemed no closer to knowing anything about JWC than she’d been at home in Ann Arbor.

  “Jenny House is supported by an endowment from a widow, a former client of my father’s. Sadly, she died right before this facility was completed. She left me in charge.” Richard smiled and stood. “Why don’t you get settled in, Katie? I’m being summoned to the phone.”

  At the desk, the receptionist was gesturing to him. He asked one of his assistants, Penny Carson, to show Katie and her family around the grounds.

  They rode in a golf cart and saw riding stables, a lake with boats, tennis courts, a softball field, and a picnic area. Walking trails, leading through cool green woods and panoramic views of distant mountains, made Jenny House even more spectacular. Back in the main lodge, they visited a clinic, a gym, an indoor pool, a cafeteria, and a game room filled with video and table games. On each of the upper floors, there were spacious dormlike rooms and a central kitchen and living area, as well as a large rec room.

  “This is where you’ll be staying,” Penny told Katie, leading her inside a sunny room decorated in green and white with hot pink accents. “You’ve been assigned three roommates. You’ll learn more tonight at the special meeting, but right now you get first dibs on the beds.”

  Katie selected the one nearest the window and asked her dad and Josh to bring up her stuff. “This is sort of an experiment, isn’t it?” Katie asked when she and Penny were alone.

  “In a way, yes. But it’s a very controlled one. Our staff includes two nurses, a psychologist, a gang of support workers—and of course, Mr. Holloway.”

  Penny added, “I’m the activities director, and I’ve spent over a month here getting ready for our grand opening. I’ve never seen anyone so determined to give sick and hurting kids a refuge as Mr. Holloway. I understand he left a successful law practice in order to take on this job. He’s trying to fulfill someone’s dream, but believe me, it’s become his dream now. And after you’ve spent time around Jenny House … well, take it from me, it will become your dream also.”

  Later, in the parking lot, Katie said good-bye to her anxious parents. “It’s a lovely place, but if you decide you don’t like it, we’ll come get you,” her mother said.

  “I’ll be fine, Mom.”

  “And should you get sick—” her dad suggested.

  “I won’t get sick.”

  She hugged them both, took Josh by the hand, and walked with him into the woods. Under the canopy of the green trees, he took her in his arms and held her fiercely. “I don’t want to leave you.”

  “I’ll write.”

  “Me too. I love you, Katie,” he whispered.

  “I love you too.” She rose on her toes and kissed him, then together they walked back to the car. She watched her father drive away. Watched until the car disappeared on the winding road through the woods. Until Josh’s face was only a speck in the back window and she stood alone next to Jenny House.

  Two

  BY SEVEN THAT night, three more girls and two guys had joined Katie at Jenny House. Each had also received One Last Wish money, one as long as five years before, and each had done something different with it. The group was medically diverse. Katie had been given a new heart, Ashley and Carol Ann had been victims of leukemia, Jeff was a hemophiliac, Todd was fighting aplastic anemia, and Stacey had kidney disease. None of them seemed to know why they had been selected by JWC, and no one had a clue as to their benefactor’s identity.

  They settled in front of the fireplace to get better acquainted. One of the staff had laid a fire, for although it was June, the evening mountain air was cool. Katie gazed into the dancing flames and thought of Josh. She missed him and wished he could be with her.

  “I thought I’d pop from curiosity about JWC,” Carol Ann confessed. “I can’t tell you what that money meant to my family and me. I stashed some of it away for college and blew a chunk on the world’s best shopping spree … in Paris!”

  Ashley laughed. “I have two brothers, and I bought each of us new cars. Need I mention how good my brothers are to me now?”

  “I treated my dad and me to the Super Bowl two years ago,” Jeff declared. “The rest goes toward college. If I’m still around.”

  Katie listened with avid interest. Not only because it was fun to hear what others had done with their money, but because she felt a thread of connection with these strangers. She knew some of them were still fighting their battles with their illnesses. But she realized the thing they held most in common was an unquenchable desire to live. JWC had touched each of their lives and made a difference.

  Katie was feeling at ease with the group when Richard Holloway joined them. He’d traded in his suit for casual slacks and a pale blue sweater. “I want you to feel perfectly at home while you’re here, so if you have any problems or concerns, please bring them to me directly. Our medical personnel have talked to each of your doctors, and so we know how to deal with any medical situations, but the emotional”—he glanced at each of them—“well, that’s part of the reason you’re here. And part of the reason why other kids have been invited.

  “It’s our hope that you will become Big Brothers and Sisters to the ones coming in. All are sick and in need of friends.” Richard paused. “Questions?”

  “When can we meet JWC?” Carol Ann asked what was on all their minds.

  “When you get to heaven,” Richard said quietly.

  Katie hadn’t known what answer to expect, but this one was a total shock. “Are you saying JWC is dead?” she asked.

  Richard stood, walked to the fireplace, and gazed up at the portrait of the young woman. “Her name was Jennifer Warren Crawford, and she was diagnosed with leukemia at age sixteen. That was back in 1978, before bone marrow transplants, before so many of the new drugs and treatments were available.”

  Katie’s gaze shifted up toward the gilt-framed canvas. Again she was struck by the girl’s ethereal beauty. Sixteen. That was how old she’d been when she’d received her new heart. And 1978. Why, that was years ago!

  Richard turned to face the group. “Jenny was a unique person. She’d been born privileged. Her parents died when she was six, and she went to live with her paternal grandmother. The bond between the two of them was unshakable.” He leaned against the oak mantel. “When she was first diagnosed, her grandmother spared no expense in seeking a cure for her. There was none. In the hospital, she made friends. I can’t explain how those friendships made a difference in her brief life, but they did.

  “Before she died, Jenny asked her grandmother to help set up the One Last Wish Foundation. She wanted to give her money to people like herself—teenagers who were facing death.” Richard began to pace in front of the fireplace while he talked. “You know, if you ask the average person on the street, ‘What would you do if you had one hundred thousand dollars?�
�� everyone has an answer.

  “But if you ask, ‘What would you do if you had one hundred thousand dollars and you were dying?’ …well, the answer often changes. It’s funny how the specter of death influences a person’s choices.”

  Katie considered his words carefully. He was right. Last summer, when she thought she might die, she’d begged her parents to make sure her Wish money went to Josh for his future. The money had no value to her unless it could do something for somebody else. Suddenly, she understood Jennifer Crawford’s mind-set perfectly. JWC’s money had had no value to the beautiful young girl unless it could help others.

  “So her grandmother set up the Wish Foundation?” Jeff asked.

  “That’s right.”

  “But why all the secrecy?” Ashley wanted to know. “And how did I get chosen?”

  “The anonymity was Jenny’s wish. The selection process was complicated, set up by Jenny’s grandmother and my father, who administered the funds. Over the years, the Foundation has given away over five million dollars.”

  Katie heard herself gasp with the others. “Are we the only survivors?” she asked.

  “Not at all. Remember, the Foundation’s been giving away Wish money for close to fifteen years. Of course, as medical science has improved, so have the odds for living. I’d say that one in seven of the Foundation’s recipients are still alive.” For the first time, Richard grinned, and Katie was struck by his warmth and charm. She wanted to know what part he had played in Jenny’s life, but didn’t have the nerve to ask.

  “You told me that this place”—Katie gestured broadly—“was a widow’s dying wish. Did you mean Jenny’s grandmother?”

  “Yes. She wanted Jenny House to offer for you survivors all the things Jenny couldn’t have during her hospitalizations. She wanted it to be a refuge, a place for friends to meet, a ‘safe’ place where you could take time out from the realities of illness. Jenny House can’t make problems go away, but it can offer a brief escape.”

  Katie thought the mission sounded idealistic and lofty, and she certainly found it appealing. It would be good to be with others who’d been at death’s door, who truly understood the unique perspective she’d experienced. Even as close as she felt to Josh, even though he’d endured the death of his only brother, he could never grasp what her brush with death had been like for her. And despite all the medications she was taking to keep her body from rejecting her new heart, there were no guarantees. If there was some way for her to reach out to the kids like herself …