The Year of Chasing Dreams Read online

  He started humming and dancing Eden around the kitchen, twirled her into the adjoining living room while she giggled. He lost his balance when he dipped her, and they fell in a heap onto the sofa, laughing uncontrollably.

  “I think my best mate’s gone bonkers,” Tom called out, wrapping his arms around Lorna.

  “No,” Lorna said, pressing against him. “Fool’s just in love.”

  Eden especially loved the day they spent at the zoo. Garret walked her through a gate into a large, grassy enclosure of free-roaming kangaroos and wallabies. “They’re so cute!” she cried. Garret winked and cautioned, “Watch out for roo doo.” She gave him a smirk, then bent and petted a roo that had hopped over to investigate them. A little joey poked his head from his mother’s pouch, and Eden was totally charmed. “Ciana should see these. Much cuter than horses!”

  That day she saw all kinds of animals native to Australia and the island of Tasmania, but she loved the koalas best of all. The fuzzy gray animals clung to eucalyptus trees, fast asleep. “How do they hang on?”

  “Desperation,” Garret joked. “Wouldn’t want a dingo dog to grab ’em.” He took Eden’s hand, kissed her palm, and wrapped her fingers around the spot. “They sleep up to twenty hours a day. Not a bad life. Sleep. Eat. Have sex.” He pointed to a baby koala.

  “Is that your idea of a full life?”

  “Well … how about sex, eat, and sleep?”

  She punched his arm, but it wasn’t a secret that when he left her at her bedroom door every night, he wanted to come in with her. She wasn’t ready to go there yet, and especially not in his parents’ house.

  She kept notes on her electronic tablet about her adventures and every so often emailed stories to Ciana, who in turn filled her in on day-to-day life at Bellmeade. One evening, sitting on the steps in the shallow end of the pool with Garret, Eden said, “Jon, the man Ciana likes but won’t let herself love, is moving back onto her property.”

  “It bother you?”

  “No. It’s a good thing. Someday that girl’s going to realize she’s in love with him. Don’t know why she fights it.”

  Garret swirled the water with his broad hands, making circles flow around Eden. “Girls can be blind that way. Can’t see what’s right under their noses sometimes.”

  Her heart did a stutter step. “Meaning?”

  He caught her gaze, winked, then pushed off and started swimming laps.

  February 10

  Hey, girlfriend. Sounds like you’re having a blast down under. I hate you for lying in the sun by a pool while we shiver. If you were here, I swear we’d go down to New Orleans for Mardi Gras for a couple of days and just leave the job of guarding Bellmeade to Jon. Him and Mom act like BFFs and I feel like an outsider in my own house. I tell you, it’s hard with him living here and sleeping two flights up from me. We make small talk, but he keeps his distance like he promised he would. When he moved in, he said it was to help and protect us, so I guess he meant it.

  Just as well, I guess. Makes it easier to stay peeved at him for bulldozing his way in and taking up residence and treating me like I’m some helpless child. Won’t tell him this, but me and Mom do sleep better nights having him here. I don’t jump every time something goes bump in the night, and every morning he saddles up Caramel and rides out to inspect our property. He always rides armed, and mostly he comes back and sets to cleaning the stalls. The only way I know if there’s been property damage is when he comes back and loads up tools and fencing wire. He doesn’t say anything about it, just goes to work fixing it. That irks me too.

  I don’t go into town much because people are staring at me and giving me hateful looks. Like I alone am destroying Windemere and everybody’s futures. Listen to me whine! Sorry, Eden. Didn’t mean to get carried away. On the bright side, Mom’s covered the formal dining table, the coffee table, and every other flat surface in the house with seedlings for the garden. The little sprouts are starting to poke through the dirt in their cups. We’ll plant in April, and from the looks of it we’ll have a bumper crop. You will be home by then, won’t you?

  Miss you! Write often. Love to Garret.

  Ciana

  PS: Don’t let that Alyssa girl get to you. I know you’re better than her! And Garret likes YOU.

  PPS: In reading through Olivia’s diaries, I hit one juicy tidbit she wrote when she was fifteen. Seems like Roy cornered her and kissed her “ON THE MOUTH!” (Her words). It was her first ever kiss, and from the one guy she keeps writing about not liking … love/hate. Go figure.

  “You’re looking solemn this morning.” Garret came into the kitchen and walked to the refrigerator.

  Eden sat hunched over her electronic tablet. “Reading email from home. Ciana’s having trouble at Bellmeade.”

  He fished a glass from a shelf and pulled out a chair across from her. “What kind of trouble?”

  Eden filled him in on Ciana’s dilemma with her farm, along with stories of the escalating vandalism. She gazed thoughtfully out the side window. “I feel like I should be there for her.”

  “Is she alone?”

  “Her mother’s there. And Jon Mercer—a force to be reckoned with.”

  “Well, if she’s got help, it doesn’t sound like there’s anything you can do.”

  “Ciana plays at being strong and self-reliant, but I know she’s scared. I’m her best friend. She may need me. To talk to and all.”

  “So what are you thinking?”

  “Maybe I should, you know, head back.”

  She and Garret had tiptoed around the length of Eden’s visit for days. She’d already been his guest for six weeks. He had told her he didn’t want her to leave, and she didn’t want to go.

  “Don’t like the idea of you going back to trouble.” He poured himself a glass of juice, drank it down in big gulps. “And your visa is good for more than another month.” He leaned over, took the tablet, and put it on the table. “Look, I feel the pressure too. I need to make some plans for myself. I’m hale and hearty now, and my parents don’t need me hanging about. But it’s summer and our beach party is coming up; picnic, surfin’, and lots of sun time. All my old mates are asking to meet you. Not that I want to share, but we’ll have fun, Eden. After that we’ll both get serious about our futures. Stay until your visa expires. Will you do that for me?”

  Looking into his eyes, knowing in her heart she wanted to be with him, she said, “If you insist.”

  “I insist,” he said with a grin.

  Eden welcomed a few more weeks with him with nothing to do but hang out. What could be so hard about that? “About that surfing thing—”

  “We’ll grab that ferry to Manly today,” Garret interrupted. “We’ll take the boogie boards and start your surfin’ lessons, teach you how to skim along the surf on the shoreline. Not scary at all. Come on, now. You’ll be a surf goddess in no time.”

  She doubted that, but went with him to a small shed at the back of the yard. Inside, through the dim light, she saw garden equipment and two large surfboards leaning against a back wall. She went to the boards while he rummaged through a stack of beach gear and mumbled, “I know the boogie boards are here somewhere.”

  “You stand up on one of these things? In rushing water?” she teased, making it sound like an absurd choice.

  Garret straightened, came alongside of her. “On my best days, yes.”

  One surfboard was painted black with red stripes, the other, much more elaborate in design, sported a hand-painted stylized fish that covered its surface. “This one’s pretty.” She brushed her hand down the smooth fiberglass.

  He nodded toward the plainer one. “This one’s mine.”

  “And this one?”

  His mood changed and his expression went flat. “Never used anymore.”

  Eden waited for an explanation that didn’t come. Not like Garret to hold back a story, she thought, but it warned her away from more questions.

  He turned to resume his search and seconds later ca
me up with the boogie boards. “Got them! Let’s go.” His familiar smile and cheerful demeanor had returned.

  She left with him, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that the beautiful board against the wall had a story he wasn’t sharing. She thought again of Tony. Everyone had secrets. And she would respect Garret’s.

  Late one Saturday night they met Tom and Lorna downtown and hopped the club circuit. Eden was in her element. The techno beats were different from the sounds of Nashville and Italy, but she quickly adapted and embraced the music, the crowd, and the noise. The four of them drank down pitchers of beer, shouted conversations over the beat of the music, and danced until most of the night was gone. Eden was humming and standing in line in the restroom when she caught sight of Alyssa, staring at her in the bathroom mirror. In spite of all the beer she’d drunk, Eden suddenly felt sober. She straightened, kept her back against the wall.

  “Thought that was you,” Alyssa said, coming over. She wore a short gold lamé dress that barely covered her crotch. “Enjoying our Aussie night life?” Alyssa’s eyes were half closed and Eden quickly saw that the girl was very drunk and very high.

  “What’s not to love?”

  “You here with Garret, I suppose?”

  “And Tom and Lorna.”

  “Ah yes. The lovers without a cause. Two losers.”

  “Bitchy thing to say.” The words were out before Eden could stop them, but she didn’t like Alyssa’s put-down of two people she liked.

  “Being nice isn’t my forte. Never been necessary to ‘be nice.’ ” She said it as if hatefulness were a virtue. “And I’m sure Lorna’s told you how wrong I am for Garret.”

  “We have better things to talk about,” Eden said, not wanting Alyssa to know she’d even been a blip on Eden’s radar. “Work out your own problems with Garret. He and I don’t have any.”

  Alyssa’s eyes slitted. She reminded Eden of a cobra about to strike. Alyssa wedged her body between Eden and the door, leaned into Eden’s face until the smell of cigarettes and liquor made her eyes water. “You do not matter to me,” Alyssa spat. “You are nothing.”

  Eden flinched. Feeling like a nothing, a nobody, lonely and worthless, had once led her to cutting, self-mutilation, to manage her emotional pain. Wasn’t that all behind her now? She couldn’t let this hateful girl tear her down. Not in some club thousands of miles from home. Eden reached deep into herself, then said, “Why don’t you ask Garret if I’m a nothing. Because that’s not how he says he feels about me when we’re alone. That’s not what he tells me at all.”

  Just then another girl brushed by Eden and Alyssa, giving them sour looks. “Could you two move? You’re jamming the doorway.”

  Alyssa suggested something for the girl to go do with herself, and the girl scampered out the door. Alyssa turned back to Eden, but her spell was broken. Alyssa knew it and tried to regroup. “But you will leave. You are going back to America.”

  “Not soon. Wouldn’t want to miss the beach party.” Eden delivered the line with forcefulness, letting Alyssa know she wasn’t surrendering any time she had with Garret.

  “Just listen, bitch,” Alyssa said through half-clenched teeth. “I was Garret’s girl long before you came on the scene, and I will be his girl long after you’re gone. Trust me.”

  With equal venom, Eden fired back. “Trust me. He left you in the dust a long time ago. So get out of my way, or I’ll take you down right here on the bathroom floor.”

  Looking shocked, Alyssa threw her head back, but she stepped aside. Breathing hard, she gave Eden the finger, jerked open the door, and left.

  Eden was still shaking when she exited the bathroom. She looked around but saw no sign of Alyssa, so she steadied herself on the wall and struggled to get her adrenaline under control and lose the feeling that she might heave. She regrouped, replaying the encounter, and realized that her reaction had been telling. She cared more for Garret than she’d allowed herself to admit. Good to know. Anything worth having was worth fighting for—the Beauchamp philosophy was rubbing off on her. Eden gave herself a self-satisfied pat, then sobered. She and Alyssa would face off again at the beach party.

  Bring it on.

  Eden wore her best bikini to Bondi Beach, and when she removed her cover-up, the look on Garret’s face told her she’d chosen well. “Outstanding,” he told her, twirling her by her fingertips.

  Many of his friends had already arrived and staked out their territory. Garret introduced her to a sea of faces with a litany of names she knew she’d never remember, but seeing Lorna and Tom made her more comfortable. Thankfully, Alyssa hadn’t yet arrived, and Eden found herself hoping she didn’t come at all. The encounter at the club still felt like a bad hangover.

  Eden, Lorna, and several girls spread towels on the fine yellow sand and watched the guys hit the waves with their boards. All surfing was done in water at one far end of the beach, well away from the rocks that clustered below large bluffs soaring above the ocean. Bathers were left to swim in the blue water between two flags positioned in the sand, without fear of being run over by surfboarders. One of Garret’s friends had brought along a big board for Garret, because he and Eden had ridden the bus and only brought along the smaller wave-skimming boards. Eden had gotten good on hers at Manly Beach, but the waves there had been smaller. Here at Bondi, the surf intimidated her. And while the steady roll of breakers made for good surfing, Eden decided that sitting on the sand and watching suited her just fine, and said so to Lorna.

  “No worries,” Lorna said. “I never liked surfing much myself. Hate the tumble when I fall. Tom and Garret are pretty good. We’ll just cheer for them.”

  Garret had style on the board. He paddled out and waited for an ocean swell to his liking, and just as the wave began to crest, he stood on the board and rode it as long as possible, sometimes all the way into the shore. Occasionally he even tucked himself into the curl—no easy feat, Eden was told.

  At one point, he jammed his board upright in the sand and jogged over to the spread of towels, leaned down, and gave Eden a salty kiss. “Care to try?”

  “Maybe later.”

  “Come on. I’ll be on the board with you.”

  “Try it.” The voice from behind them was Alyssa’s. She sauntered to the front of the towel, looked down on Eden and Garret. Her height was impressive, her bikini couture, and her hair like spun gold. Looks like a freakin’ sea nymph, Eden thought sourly. “You might like it.”

  Eden forced a chipper smile. “Guess it won’t hurt to try.”

  Garret pulled her up, gave Alyssa a polite but disinterested nod, and led Eden to retrieve the board. He put it in the water and walked it out with her in tow until the water was deep enough for the board to float freely. “Straddle it,” he said, and helped her get astride it, then put himself on the board behind her. “Now paddle.”

  She cupped her hands into the water and together they went farther out. She was half terrified, half exhilarated. “Water’s cold.”

  “Pacific Ocean. Doesn’t get very warm.” He kept glancing over his shoulder, looking for the right wave. “Let the wave do the work,” he said into her ear.

  “Do I have to stand up?”

  “No, we’ll just ride a few in, but put your feet up on the board. Here comes a nice one. Hang on.”

  She felt the board lift as the water rose beneath them, and for a moment she felt as if she were on a roller coaster. She gripped the sides of the board and they coasted, then slid down and toward the shoreline. The sensation was amazing. Lorna and the other girls were there to meet them when they nosed ashore. The girls clapped, and once Eden stood, she bowed theatrically. Garret hugged her, lifting her off the ground. “That’s my girl!”

  She kissed him, but noticed that Alyssa hadn’t stayed around for the show.

  The food appeared, and everyone ate on the grass of Bondi away from the sand and surf. Eden fielded questions about her life in Tennessee, and told every story she could think of about Bellmeade,
horses and bronc riding, and Ciana, her friend who drove a tractor. When the questions wound down, the men started a soccer match and the girls shopped the stores that fronted a wide thoroughfare.

  “Looks like Alyssa abandoned us,” Lorna said, smiling smugly.

  Eden realized it was true. “Maybe it was something I said.”

  “Hope so. I guess she hated all the attention you were getting.” Lorna linked her arm with Eden’s. “Good job.”

  Eden bought souvenirs for Ciana and Alice Faye. She remembered that Abbie was going to have a baby and bought a stuffed koala covered with sheep’s wool. Lorna said that she and Tom had to leave early, so Eden wandered back to the beach alone. The men’s game was still in progress, so she slathered herself with sunscreen and stretched out on a towel.

  She grew hot, looked out, and saw that the ocean was now a glassy blue and calm as bathwater. Garret’s loaner surfboard was upright in the sand, and Eden thought back to Italy and the way she would lazily drift half asleep on a float in the pool. She got up, wrestled the board into the water, and walked it out until she was able to hoist herself onto the slick surface. She lay on her stomach and closed her eyes. And she thought about her life and where it was headed. The Aussie girls all seemed to have plans for their lives. They had jobs, or were returning to university. A few were married. But Eden felt just as unclear about her future as she had in Windemere. She had never loved studying and didn’t want to go to college. Nor did she want to return to her former dead-end job at the downtown boutique. The money she did have wouldn’t last her forever. She’d come all this way to reconnect with Garret, but although they cared for each other, she had no idea as to what he wanted for his life. And the distance between Tennessee and Sydney was mind-boggling. Loneliness crept over her. She should face it. She had no future plans. Not a single one.

  The change in the sound of the surf roused her. She glanced up and saw that she’d drifted far from shore, closer to the jutting rocks. Waves hammered the cluster of stones. Alarmed, Eden sat upright. She straddled the board and paddled toward the open water, making some headway, but the tide caught her and she watched the shore recede even farther. She struggled to turn the board, aim it back at the beach, but the tide was strong and she couldn’t do it. She waved her hands above her head, shouted, hoped someone would spot her.